Post by Chokone Manatsu on Jan 25, 2013 14:04:18 GMT -5
Over the years I've written many poems, and you can probably tell the ones that are more recent because they get gradually better. I've roamed around my various writing accounts to bring together all my past poems to put in here for you to see. A lot of them are about depression/anxiety, and past relationships/breakups etc...
---
Angel In Hell
I am falling on broken wings
heading towards an endless hell
soft, silent, music sings
Goodbye my dears, I wish you well.
I am soaring down-away
leaving for that missing face
I have no reason left to stay
my baby, gone without a trace.
I tried to fall on broken wings
to head towards that hell
but there was just one little thing
you knew me far too well.
You stopped me soaring down-away
and replaced the missing face
now I have a reason to stay
loneliness gone without a trace.
You saved me from my cold fate
and now my soul ill gladly sell
you helped stop my fall from grace
My sweet angel in hell.
---
She Sits Alone (alt title: Loneliness)
She sits alone
crying inside
afraid to show
the pain she hides
She sits alone
broken and lost
she'll never cry out
for fear of the cost
She sits alone
scared and scarred
wondering why
her life is so hard
She sits alone
wasting away
staring so blankly
all the words she can't say
She sits alone
feeling so worthless
she wants to be loved
And thinks that it's hopeless
If you were alone
empty and hollow
how could you cope
who would you follow?
If you were alone
sad and haunted
would you really care
how much you were taunted?
If you were alone
pained with distress
how would you know
how much life you had left?
If you were alone
what would you do?
For in this situation
there is nothing but gloom
Now she still sits alone;
but she will not give in
because now she knows
They have faith in her,
Something to believe in.
You're not alone,
Not really.
Don't give up.
---
"Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you"
I have a heart
and so do you
I can show mine
but why can't you?
I know you're the darkness
and I am the light,
but why are we like this?
Why must we fight?
Each day when i look to you,
See horror in your eyes.
Fills me with sorrow,
Lost your disguise.
You use me at your will,
And I follow blindly
Forever your puppet,
You kill me kindly.
One day we'll stop this
One day this ends
I won't be your slave
never again.
---
How Would You... (alt title: Echo)
How would you like it?
if everyday you awoke
you would wake to nothing
nothing but darkness.
How would you like it?
if every time you came home
you would come back to nothing
nothing but pain.
How would you like it?
If every time you slept
you would feel nothing
nothing but despair.
How would you like it?
If every time you had a dream
you would dream of nothing
nothing but emptiness.
How would you like it?
If every time you cried
you would receive nothing
nothing but insults.
How would you like it?
If every time you smiled
you would smile about nothing
nothing but lies.
How would you like it?
If every time you thought
you would think of nothing
nothing but a memory.
How would you like it?
If every time you met someone
you would feel nothing
nothing but jealousy.
How would you like it?
If every time you laughed
you would laugh for nothing
nothing but sorrow.
How would you like it?
If you had to be me
you would be nothing
nothing but an echo.
---
Baby Steps
I cried out for you the day you left.
You could never understand how I felt then.
I shed many, bitter tears for you.
That day I awoke to find you missing
My mind filled with an overwhelming sorrow,
a numbness that took me over.
I found it so hard to breathe my dear
You took everything away, emptiness inside.
That was all that remained of my heart.
It was a pain I could never feel completely
And yet it would not fade away.
A wound so deep it was untouchable.
My soul longed for you, as it still does.
you could never be replaced in my mind
yet I know you will never return.
Now you know how depressed I feel.
I was a cracked mirror, just waiting to break.
It was hard to hold the pieces together.
So now I am dying on the inside
now that my heart has shut down forever
now that you have abandoned me.
Now I'm alone once more.
Its hard for me to adjust without you,
the first weeks slowly drag on...
The first steps are always the hardest.
---
I'm Okay (alt title: Denial)
Months.
Each day passes slow but sure,
Certain to go on, life stops for no one
Time pauses for nothing.
I am no exception.
For a moment I wish it would end,
The pain, the fear, the emptiness.
But it won't.
Frozen.
Always so cold, my soul like ice.
Breathing snowflakes from the grave,
Proof that heaven is a lie.
I'm already dead inside.
Thoughts that poison from the inside out.
Make it stop, make it go away, end it.
But I can't.
Haunting.
Shivers that run through me,
Please rid me of these memories.
I don't want to remember
I don't want to forget.
The only hope which drives me forward
She doesn't care, never did, wont come back.
But she will.
Escape.
This twisted remedy for my regret,
Blood blooms its flowers on flesh.
Cold metal against skin.
Pain i can believe in.
So consuming is the welcomed loneliness.
I'm just numb, hollow, shattered pieces.
But I'm okay.
Believe me, I'm okay...
---
Waiting (Hoping, Changing, Seeing.)
Waiting for you
Hoping you'll return
Changing your mind
Seeing you were wrong.
Waiting for some kind of sign
Hoping you still care
Changing how I think of you
Seeing my past mistakes.
Waiting behind a blank mask
Hoping she'll save me soon
Changing what I feel inside
Seeing how she's hurt me so.
Waiting forever, so slowly it seems
Hoping together we can forget
Changing the future of our lives
Seeing its never really over.
Waiting on the other side
Hoping this wont be the last time
Changing how our story ends
Seeing it's all been pretend
And even though you've
turned your back on us,
I'll still keep on
Waiting
Hoping
Changing
Seeing
For you, and only you. My love.
---
Always.
Truth be told I'm a wreck, but I can't let you see that.
Want to scream I miss you, but I can't.
Truth be told I adore you, but that isn't what you want to hear.
Let me tell you... I still love you.
Inside I'm dying, praying that one day you'll open your eyes.
Open your heart and realise it was all a mistake.
Inside I'm crying, broken and remaining confused,
Trapped... I did nothing.
Playing a game, with my heart as the dice.
That cruel little smile says it all.
Playing a game, not caring about the the price,
Your killing me... and so I fall.
Sick as it is, I still want you my dear.
Many would hate you, not me.
Sick as it is, I keep hanging on to you.
I'm your doormat... your doll.
I dont understand why this had to happen,
I never changed who I was.
I dont understand why you stopped loving me the same.
My heart never stopped loving... even for a second.
Mistakes were made, but I didn't see them,
Blind to the cracks that we made.
Mistakes were made, but they can be forgiven,
And so... I keep hoping.
I'm so sorry if you think I smothered you, clung to you.
My way of caring, it proved too much.
I'm so sorry that I wasn't what you expected, what you wanted.
But believe me... I can change.
So here we are as friends, talking still but not the same,
And im faking this smile, you're to blame.
So here we are as friends, but you cant see,
I'm hiding pain... hiding the truth.
Well,
truth be told I'm a wreck, but I can't let you see that.
Want to scream I miss you, but I can't.
Truth be told I adore you, but that isn't what you want to hear.
Please, I beg you listen... I still love you.
And I always will.
---
An Apology.
I just wanted to tell you...
"I'm sorry"
Thats something I seem to say too much,
something I wish I didnt have to say at all,
but something that must be said all the same.
So here it is; my apology...
I know that sometimes I dont make sense,
I ramble and complain about nothing,
and I say things I know I shouldnt,
things that I regret saying afterwards.
I know that I can be difficult,
complicated and highly emotional,
and I expect you to put up with it all,
expect you to understand.
I know that I can be extremely harsh,
mean and evil and horrible and selfish,
ignoring that I might be hurting you,
making you hate me.
I know I focus only on my own pain,
ignorant, blind and deaf to your troubles too,
troubles which are certain to be worse,
compared to my tiny squabbles.
And as you can tell from the above verses,
the word 'I' is used far more than it should.
My eyes have opened wide,
to the self-centred being that Ive become,
and now Im hoping youll forgive me
Know only that I did not mean any of it,
that we can work through this together,
and you can guide my broken soul,
to help me save ourselves.
Know only that I love you with all my heart,
that youre the walls which hold me,
stopping me from crumbling,
all that I am.
Know only that I do indeed truly care about you,
about every thought and feeling you may hold,
each thing you hold dear is important to me in turn,
all that makes you, you.
Know only that I would do anything at all to fix this,
for us to be happy together like we once were,
a love stronger than the force of gravity,
thats what we ought to be.
Know only that this poem is nothing but the truth,
every single word written comes from my soul,
so this is the very best apology I can give,
the only way I can express myself
I hope you understand, my love.
This probably didnt make much sense either,
but thats just who I am, the messed up girl that you adore.
---
Long Distance Summer.
A million broken pieces
that suddenly fall in place,
time stands still,
hearts race.
A million hours of emptiness,
filled at last,
smiles shine,
forget the past.
Our days seem to zoom away
horribly fast,
dont think,
make it last.
Our days seem to blur
together as one,
its alright,
just have fun.
The sun stretches out to greet us
for the days ahead,
excitement and love,
the colour red.
The sun stretches out to meet us
with its shiny rays,
hold on tight,
the last few days.
Memories must remain
as time runs out,
good moods gone,
i want to shout.
Memories must remain
when we say goodbye,
we must be brave,
try not to cry.
For many, summer is the end of the school year
but for us, its just the beginning.
---
A Lost Land.
Grey are the skies, the clouds which fill them
cold and unfeeling is the ground below
Our only sun, a lightning flash
pride remains alone
Empty are these lands, animals have fled
desolate and lonely but still we live
Not a sound, silence so echoing
yet we struggle on
Gone are our hearts, this old graveyard
this land can no longer be home
A king so dark, black is his heart
I cant stay here
Lost are my thoughts, wandering onward
help for a life past saving
It's too late, already over
we wont give up
Cruel are the ghosts, haunting from the past
life and death in just a single blur
Confusion is rife, blame is thrown
he is our hope
Sweet are our dreams, friendship to love
a shadow lost and now found
Responsibility, a lot to take
but he will save our land.
---
My Comatose Heart.
"I Love You"
What did you say?
It seems such a trivial thing.
I heard, but have no answer.
What exactly is love anyway?
Simply a mixture of hormones,
that's what science says.
All facts and figures,
I was never one for science.
Merely a swell of emotions.
A growing feeling,
deep within the heart.
But what heart have I?
Is there anything in this chest,
beneath the ribs encasing?
I ponder it a little more.
Love, how would I define it?
The closest thing I have
is you, my light.
Laughter, it rings through me now.
A hollow sound, void of life,
But full of bitterness.
Confused, conflicted.
Do I 'love' you?
It's been a long time old friend,
so old, the feeling is new.
Bound by denial and regret.
Why am I doing this?
Don't look at me like that,
So softly, understanding.
It kills me inside,
breaks down the walls.
So I fall a little more.
Why you of all people?
I needed you.
Maybe this is why…
Am I as helpless as that?
That's not what this is about,
who is better than whom?
It shouldn't be so hard.
Admitting the truth,
I've lied for too long.
A frown, deep and sinister.
Why do you do this to me?
Bring out all the feeling,
I wanted to forget.
Maybe. Just maybe,
I love you too.
Yes. I said it.
Happy now?
You and only you.
Bring out the best in me,
as I bring out the worst in you.
Two halves of one whole.
They don't know it,
behind closed doors
It's funny how
you seem the Yami,
and I the Hikari.
The roles are reversed.
I save you from yourself,
and you tear me down.
Love's funny like that, isn't it?
---
Okay that's all for now. Just a note that some of these are personal where as some are based from things: Angel In Hell was inspired by Twilight, Lost Land was inspired by The Lion King, Roses Are Red and Comatose Heart were inspired by YuGiOh.
---
Angel In Hell
I am falling on broken wings
heading towards an endless hell
soft, silent, music sings
Goodbye my dears, I wish you well.
I am soaring down-away
leaving for that missing face
I have no reason left to stay
my baby, gone without a trace.
I tried to fall on broken wings
to head towards that hell
but there was just one little thing
you knew me far too well.
You stopped me soaring down-away
and replaced the missing face
now I have a reason to stay
loneliness gone without a trace.
You saved me from my cold fate
and now my soul ill gladly sell
you helped stop my fall from grace
My sweet angel in hell.
---
She Sits Alone (alt title: Loneliness)
She sits alone
crying inside
afraid to show
the pain she hides
She sits alone
broken and lost
she'll never cry out
for fear of the cost
She sits alone
scared and scarred
wondering why
her life is so hard
She sits alone
wasting away
staring so blankly
all the words she can't say
She sits alone
feeling so worthless
she wants to be loved
And thinks that it's hopeless
If you were alone
empty and hollow
how could you cope
who would you follow?
If you were alone
sad and haunted
would you really care
how much you were taunted?
If you were alone
pained with distress
how would you know
how much life you had left?
If you were alone
what would you do?
For in this situation
there is nothing but gloom
Now she still sits alone;
but she will not give in
because now she knows
They have faith in her,
Something to believe in.
You're not alone,
Not really.
Don't give up.
---
"Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you"
I have a heart
and so do you
I can show mine
but why can't you?
I know you're the darkness
and I am the light,
but why are we like this?
Why must we fight?
Each day when i look to you,
See horror in your eyes.
Fills me with sorrow,
Lost your disguise.
You use me at your will,
And I follow blindly
Forever your puppet,
You kill me kindly.
One day we'll stop this
One day this ends
I won't be your slave
never again.
---
How Would You... (alt title: Echo)
How would you like it?
if everyday you awoke
you would wake to nothing
nothing but darkness.
How would you like it?
if every time you came home
you would come back to nothing
nothing but pain.
How would you like it?
If every time you slept
you would feel nothing
nothing but despair.
How would you like it?
If every time you had a dream
you would dream of nothing
nothing but emptiness.
How would you like it?
If every time you cried
you would receive nothing
nothing but insults.
How would you like it?
If every time you smiled
you would smile about nothing
nothing but lies.
How would you like it?
If every time you thought
you would think of nothing
nothing but a memory.
How would you like it?
If every time you met someone
you would feel nothing
nothing but jealousy.
How would you like it?
If every time you laughed
you would laugh for nothing
nothing but sorrow.
How would you like it?
If you had to be me
you would be nothing
nothing but an echo.
---
Baby Steps
I cried out for you the day you left.
You could never understand how I felt then.
I shed many, bitter tears for you.
That day I awoke to find you missing
My mind filled with an overwhelming sorrow,
a numbness that took me over.
I found it so hard to breathe my dear
You took everything away, emptiness inside.
That was all that remained of my heart.
It was a pain I could never feel completely
And yet it would not fade away.
A wound so deep it was untouchable.
My soul longed for you, as it still does.
you could never be replaced in my mind
yet I know you will never return.
Now you know how depressed I feel.
I was a cracked mirror, just waiting to break.
It was hard to hold the pieces together.
So now I am dying on the inside
now that my heart has shut down forever
now that you have abandoned me.
Now I'm alone once more.
Its hard for me to adjust without you,
the first weeks slowly drag on...
The first steps are always the hardest.
---
I'm Okay (alt title: Denial)
Months.
Each day passes slow but sure,
Certain to go on, life stops for no one
Time pauses for nothing.
I am no exception.
For a moment I wish it would end,
The pain, the fear, the emptiness.
But it won't.
Frozen.
Always so cold, my soul like ice.
Breathing snowflakes from the grave,
Proof that heaven is a lie.
I'm already dead inside.
Thoughts that poison from the inside out.
Make it stop, make it go away, end it.
But I can't.
Haunting.
Shivers that run through me,
Please rid me of these memories.
I don't want to remember
I don't want to forget.
The only hope which drives me forward
She doesn't care, never did, wont come back.
But she will.
Escape.
This twisted remedy for my regret,
Blood blooms its flowers on flesh.
Cold metal against skin.
Pain i can believe in.
So consuming is the welcomed loneliness.
I'm just numb, hollow, shattered pieces.
But I'm okay.
Believe me, I'm okay...
---
Waiting (Hoping, Changing, Seeing.)
Waiting for you
Hoping you'll return
Changing your mind
Seeing you were wrong.
Waiting for some kind of sign
Hoping you still care
Changing how I think of you
Seeing my past mistakes.
Waiting behind a blank mask
Hoping she'll save me soon
Changing what I feel inside
Seeing how she's hurt me so.
Waiting forever, so slowly it seems
Hoping together we can forget
Changing the future of our lives
Seeing its never really over.
Waiting on the other side
Hoping this wont be the last time
Changing how our story ends
Seeing it's all been pretend
And even though you've
turned your back on us,
I'll still keep on
Waiting
Hoping
Changing
Seeing
For you, and only you. My love.
---
Always.
Truth be told I'm a wreck, but I can't let you see that.
Want to scream I miss you, but I can't.
Truth be told I adore you, but that isn't what you want to hear.
Let me tell you... I still love you.
Inside I'm dying, praying that one day you'll open your eyes.
Open your heart and realise it was all a mistake.
Inside I'm crying, broken and remaining confused,
Trapped... I did nothing.
Playing a game, with my heart as the dice.
That cruel little smile says it all.
Playing a game, not caring about the the price,
Your killing me... and so I fall.
Sick as it is, I still want you my dear.
Many would hate you, not me.
Sick as it is, I keep hanging on to you.
I'm your doormat... your doll.
I dont understand why this had to happen,
I never changed who I was.
I dont understand why you stopped loving me the same.
My heart never stopped loving... even for a second.
Mistakes were made, but I didn't see them,
Blind to the cracks that we made.
Mistakes were made, but they can be forgiven,
And so... I keep hoping.
I'm so sorry if you think I smothered you, clung to you.
My way of caring, it proved too much.
I'm so sorry that I wasn't what you expected, what you wanted.
But believe me... I can change.
So here we are as friends, talking still but not the same,
And im faking this smile, you're to blame.
So here we are as friends, but you cant see,
I'm hiding pain... hiding the truth.
Well,
truth be told I'm a wreck, but I can't let you see that.
Want to scream I miss you, but I can't.
Truth be told I adore you, but that isn't what you want to hear.
Please, I beg you listen... I still love you.
And I always will.
---
An Apology.
I just wanted to tell you...
"I'm sorry"
Thats something I seem to say too much,
something I wish I didnt have to say at all,
but something that must be said all the same.
So here it is; my apology...
I know that sometimes I dont make sense,
I ramble and complain about nothing,
and I say things I know I shouldnt,
things that I regret saying afterwards.
I know that I can be difficult,
complicated and highly emotional,
and I expect you to put up with it all,
expect you to understand.
I know that I can be extremely harsh,
mean and evil and horrible and selfish,
ignoring that I might be hurting you,
making you hate me.
I know I focus only on my own pain,
ignorant, blind and deaf to your troubles too,
troubles which are certain to be worse,
compared to my tiny squabbles.
And as you can tell from the above verses,
the word 'I' is used far more than it should.
My eyes have opened wide,
to the self-centred being that Ive become,
and now Im hoping youll forgive me
Know only that I did not mean any of it,
that we can work through this together,
and you can guide my broken soul,
to help me save ourselves.
Know only that I love you with all my heart,
that youre the walls which hold me,
stopping me from crumbling,
all that I am.
Know only that I do indeed truly care about you,
about every thought and feeling you may hold,
each thing you hold dear is important to me in turn,
all that makes you, you.
Know only that I would do anything at all to fix this,
for us to be happy together like we once were,
a love stronger than the force of gravity,
thats what we ought to be.
Know only that this poem is nothing but the truth,
every single word written comes from my soul,
so this is the very best apology I can give,
the only way I can express myself
I hope you understand, my love.
This probably didnt make much sense either,
but thats just who I am, the messed up girl that you adore.
---
Long Distance Summer.
A million broken pieces
that suddenly fall in place,
time stands still,
hearts race.
A million hours of emptiness,
filled at last,
smiles shine,
forget the past.
Our days seem to zoom away
horribly fast,
dont think,
make it last.
Our days seem to blur
together as one,
its alright,
just have fun.
The sun stretches out to greet us
for the days ahead,
excitement and love,
the colour red.
The sun stretches out to meet us
with its shiny rays,
hold on tight,
the last few days.
Memories must remain
as time runs out,
good moods gone,
i want to shout.
Memories must remain
when we say goodbye,
we must be brave,
try not to cry.
For many, summer is the end of the school year
but for us, its just the beginning.
---
A Lost Land.
Grey are the skies, the clouds which fill them
cold and unfeeling is the ground below
Our only sun, a lightning flash
pride remains alone
Empty are these lands, animals have fled
desolate and lonely but still we live
Not a sound, silence so echoing
yet we struggle on
Gone are our hearts, this old graveyard
this land can no longer be home
A king so dark, black is his heart
I cant stay here
Lost are my thoughts, wandering onward
help for a life past saving
It's too late, already over
we wont give up
Cruel are the ghosts, haunting from the past
life and death in just a single blur
Confusion is rife, blame is thrown
he is our hope
Sweet are our dreams, friendship to love
a shadow lost and now found
Responsibility, a lot to take
but he will save our land.
---
My Comatose Heart.
"I Love You"
What did you say?
It seems such a trivial thing.
I heard, but have no answer.
What exactly is love anyway?
Simply a mixture of hormones,
that's what science says.
All facts and figures,
I was never one for science.
Merely a swell of emotions.
A growing feeling,
deep within the heart.
But what heart have I?
Is there anything in this chest,
beneath the ribs encasing?
I ponder it a little more.
Love, how would I define it?
The closest thing I have
is you, my light.
Laughter, it rings through me now.
A hollow sound, void of life,
But full of bitterness.
Confused, conflicted.
Do I 'love' you?
It's been a long time old friend,
so old, the feeling is new.
Bound by denial and regret.
Why am I doing this?
Don't look at me like that,
So softly, understanding.
It kills me inside,
breaks down the walls.
So I fall a little more.
Why you of all people?
I needed you.
Maybe this is why…
Am I as helpless as that?
That's not what this is about,
who is better than whom?
It shouldn't be so hard.
Admitting the truth,
I've lied for too long.
A frown, deep and sinister.
Why do you do this to me?
Bring out all the feeling,
I wanted to forget.
Maybe. Just maybe,
I love you too.
Yes. I said it.
Happy now?
You and only you.
Bring out the best in me,
as I bring out the worst in you.
Two halves of one whole.
They don't know it,
behind closed doors
It's funny how
you seem the Yami,
and I the Hikari.
The roles are reversed.
I save you from yourself,
and you tear me down.
Love's funny like that, isn't it?
---
Okay that's all for now. Just a note that some of these are personal where as some are based from things: Angel In Hell was inspired by Twilight, Lost Land was inspired by The Lion King, Roses Are Red and Comatose Heart were inspired by YuGiOh.