Post by Kendall Kohma on Jan 1, 2016 11:53:56 GMT -5
It was only a year after I graduated that I found myself in the position I'm in now. Somehow despite my disability I've found myself a stable job doing something I love - I tutor at another school, Vincenness Private Academy. You wouldn't think it would be a good fit right? I mean, I can't see silent troublemakers like desk writers and note passers. How could I keep order? Well, as it happens, Vincenness is incredibly strict on accepting students and only the most proper of boys and girls are allowed entry. The disciplinary actions needed here are only for extreme cases. Oh, yes, I should probably mention that I teach literature. My students always tell me they're happy I still enjoy reading, and I shrug off what some may consider an offensive, back handed compliment.
I haven't seen my family in that whole year and somehow I'm doing just fine. I miss a few of them, but I'm free of the hold I was in for so long so I'm certain I can say I'm healthier now than with them. I've decided to stay here for as long as I can, perhaps make this my career. Maybe I'll get a full degree for teaching, someday. But for now, these little groups I've tutored are some of my favorite people, and I can almost feel what some people may call respect. I don't think I've ever had that before. This is a risk worth taking to me, and I think it may be one of my first risks ever - uprooting my life back home to try something entirely new. I still have contacts if I need them, but I won't reveal who I stayed in touch with. That spoils the surprise.
There is only one thing I have left to do, and that's learn how to be more expressive and open with others besides my closest friends. I've never been good at that, and I really should be if I plan on going further in my life. Especially if I want to settle down with a family someday. But enough about that.
Oh, yes, and you may be wondering about Asami? I'll let her explain that to you if you ask. I don't think it's my place.
But, here we are. I have no idea where I'll be going and yes, that terrifies me. I have this fear of the end, this crippling aversion to mortality that has stopped me from taking almost any risk that comes my way. At the same time, I used to hate my life so much I tried to welcome that abrupt end. As many highs and lows as I've been through at Astraea Hill, I can't say for certain if I'm healthy mentally or not, but for now, I'd like to pretend that what I'm doing and where I am in life are both good things. I need to believe it and maybe it'll come true one day.
I haven't seen my family in that whole year and somehow I'm doing just fine. I miss a few of them, but I'm free of the hold I was in for so long so I'm certain I can say I'm healthier now than with them. I've decided to stay here for as long as I can, perhaps make this my career. Maybe I'll get a full degree for teaching, someday. But for now, these little groups I've tutored are some of my favorite people, and I can almost feel what some people may call respect. I don't think I've ever had that before. This is a risk worth taking to me, and I think it may be one of my first risks ever - uprooting my life back home to try something entirely new. I still have contacts if I need them, but I won't reveal who I stayed in touch with. That spoils the surprise.
There is only one thing I have left to do, and that's learn how to be more expressive and open with others besides my closest friends. I've never been good at that, and I really should be if I plan on going further in my life. Especially if I want to settle down with a family someday. But enough about that.
Oh, yes, and you may be wondering about Asami? I'll let her explain that to you if you ask. I don't think it's my place.
But, here we are. I have no idea where I'll be going and yes, that terrifies me. I have this fear of the end, this crippling aversion to mortality that has stopped me from taking almost any risk that comes my way. At the same time, I used to hate my life so much I tried to welcome that abrupt end. As many highs and lows as I've been through at Astraea Hill, I can't say for certain if I'm healthy mentally or not, but for now, I'd like to pretend that what I'm doing and where I am in life are both good things. I need to believe it and maybe it'll come true one day.
