And it will come
Like a flood of pain
Pouring down on me
And it will not let up
Until the end is here
And it will come
Through the darkest day
In my final hour
And it will never rest
Until the clouds are clear
Until it finds my dreams have disappeared

She hadn't been here since her first year, truth be told. Most days lately, she barely left her room. Something inside the girl broke over time, and though she tried to piece herself back together, she never really could. Like a pane of broken glass, her pieces just would never fit together the same way again. She reflected on this as she prodded the ground with her cane, aware of the heat of the greenhouse more so than she normally would be. Yes, the last time she was here was before Ryoko was murdered. It was before her mother died of overdose. It was even before she was blinded by that fateful lightning strike. No matter how she tore it, kendall was a magnet for trouble.

And so, she made the effort to close herself off to the rest of the world. Her time at Astraea Hill was shallow - alien. She had no desires, no ambitions, and no people to influence her. Asami was gone. She had made peace with that. It stung to think that hers was the last face Kendall remembered, though. That first year's face was the last she would ever see. And Moe? She moved away. The girl who swore to protect her always was gone. The girl who helped her find her confidence was gone. All that was left was the broken remains of what was once a girl. She pondered that thought every day. What was left? Her closest friends and family were either dead or missing, or hated her. Her senses failed her. Her grades were average at best. What did the world have to offer her?

In that moment, she decided. Whatever was once worth remaining on this Earth for was no longer worth it. Whatever wonders were out there to see, she could not. The world around her was a pointless void of tragedy and sorrow. So, she would rid herself of that world. She would never have to think about this again. She could finally be free from this nightmare she called a life.

As she came to her stop in the greenhouse, she was only more aware that she was alone. Even the pleasant fragrances of the flowers had faded into a dull sensation by now. And perhaps that was for the best. In her opposite hand from the cane was a small razor blade. It would be enough to get the job done, but she knew what was coming. She fiddled with it in her palm for a moment, careful to avoid the edges just in case. For a few moments, she thought to herself that if she were stopped now, it would just be a sign that she was an accursed soul meant to wander in agony forever. A soul can't be cut, no matter what blade you wield. So, what would fate do to the girl, she wondered? It was either she leave this world behind today, or she suffer through more of this abuse for longer.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She had come this far, so why the hesitation now? She allowed herself a moment to give a reality check. She let the razor in her palm dig in just enough that she could feel it. Surely she wouldn't be dripping with blood, but she would have cut her hand slightly. Maybe just enough to see a trickle or two.

(Below is a list of characters that could intervene right now and her general thoughts about those individuals.)

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There were a few moments in her current state in which she thought about her cousin Arceia. What would she say to this? But then, she drifted thoughts again to her cousin's wife. Chiyo? She was so nice, and so innocent even if she tried to be cool. Where was she these days? Probably living it up with the money she came into thanks to marrying into a rich family. She held some jealousy over the girls. Both of them. Arceia had experienced a terrible early life, and she was going places rapidly. Chiyo was ever the bubbly girl without a hint of sadness in her, even if it called for it. How did she do it? How did either of them not go crazy?

She flashed an angry emotion for a moment. Hatred? No, just more jealousy. They get to live great lives. Kendall was reduced to...

This.

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She kept telling herself she had made peace with Asami's distance from her, but she was lying to everyone, especially herself. The girl was a rock in her life, always the same demanding and ambitious brat. It was charming. It was fun. Even if her words hurt sometimes, she never once thought of Asami as anything but a friend, and more. She only came to that conclusion after it was too late though. But the more she thought about her tragedies, the more she connected dots to Asami. She went out into that lightning storm to take pictures of it to prove she wasn't spineless. That was for Asami. It was the reason she was blinded in the first place. And then, she was abandoned when she fell comatose. There would be no Asami when she woke up from that. There was no Asami after that. She had heard tell that the girl had left campus entirely.

Ah, and then there was all that time she spent alone. Isolated in her old room that they used to share, in an endless abyss, where all she could do was listen. Asami wasn't there, but her presence lingered, and that hurt worse. She was alone, truly, and yet she never resented Asami for it. She just grew more bitter at herself.

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Moe? Was she still on campus? Even if she was, she certainly wanted nothing to do with Kendall anymore. Her absence said that much. She was another rock that had gotten the tragic girl through things. She helped Kendall find her confidence, and gave her something to strive for. Thanks to Moe, Kendall began trying more new things, and being more independent. It was her influence that caused Kendall to understand her own importance. And that was all thrown away in an instant when the girl vanished, leaving nothing but a cloud of uncertainty in her wake. Where could Kendall go from here?

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June came to mind that moment. Jeez, was she glad June wasn't here. She'd rip the blade from Kendall's hand and crush it, somehow. She wasn't sure how but she knew it would happen. Then she would get some lecture about how this wasn't worth it, and Kendall would smile and nod and apologize like the good little dog she was. June meant well, but she had no idea what worth was to kendall. It certainly wasn't living in the shadow of her family, watching everyone slowly abandon her and possibly slipping into another coma or worse without knowing it's coming. No, this was on her terms. One of the only things in her life to be under her control... Was her death. And she knew June would move on. She had a new friend now. Zephyra? Yes, that made her question what the stranger would say to her in this moment. Surely nothing good. Regurgitated claims about how much there is to live for.

She would smile, nod, and apologize like the good little dog she was, and then find a quieter place to handle this.

Returning from her trip to Ireland had made her feel very nostalgic for her campus home, and she decided to go somewhere quiet, warm and sweet smelling. It was near curfew, though curfew was incredibly early, the sun had yet to even begin to set. The late afternoon sunlight turned everything in the greenhouse orange with long black shadows stretching across the flowers that showed colorful faces to the loli as she walked inside.

She took in a breath, didn't one of Kendalls family members die here? That was morbid. However now that Kendall was brought up, she thought of her and bitterly crossed her arms. She'd found someone else hadn't she? Totally forgot her and left her to fend for herself without so much as an apology. On the outside Asami was disgusted, but inside, she was incredibly sad. The new and wonderful feelings she'd developed while caring for her after the lightning strike...they had been shirked at a most critical moment in a way Asami had never really gotten over.

When she saw a girl standing with her back to her, grunting about something (she couldn't see what she was doing) her mind clicked back to its usual thought process, though she noted the girls hair was a rather important shade of pink.

"It's almost curfew you know, you should get back to the dorms or you'll be locked out."

Then she saw the walking stick....she only knew one person with pink hair and an aid for blindness. The mere thought that Kendall, the little crybaby brat she had loved was right here made her feel so many things at once. A normal girl might have hugged her or proclaimed her feelings, issuing tearful closure all at once. But tsundere Asami showed her elation and nervousness but puffing yup like a cat.

"Kendall? Is that you? You dummy don't you even...know...where..." her sentence broke off when she noticed the blood, what in the?

"What are you-?" She uncrossed her arms moving closer and she put the pieces together without being told. She stomped right up to her and made a vigorous effort to wrestle the blade from her.

"You idiot! What are you doing?!" For the first time in a very long while she felt something pulling behind her eyes, was it tears?

Her wrestling for the blade resulted in a position that looked like she was hugging her from behind, holding both her hands by the wrists. "You dummy! You big dummy..." She said, when what she wanted to say was 'you hurt me' and 'I missed you.'

Ah, it... Would be her, wouldn't it? The one who started this cycle in her heart. The reason for this pain. No, that's not fair to her. It was Kendall's fault for thinking she could have a friend. For thinking anything in life would be anything but misery. The problem she faced now was the tidal wave of emotions she felt at that moment.

Sadness that she had been reduced to this.

Anger that Asami was just now here, when she could have been so much more help earlier.

Joy to hear her voice.

Nostalgia from the old days.

It was hard to pick one to go with, and so Kendall did what she had grown very used to doing ever since she'd gone hollow. She used an emotionless tone filled only with logic and held any sort of feelings she may be having inside. She did this so well, one may mistake her for a robot. Before she even had a chance to react, it seemed as though Asami knew what was happening. That she was aware of the blood. It was necessary blood though. She needed to feel that pain to know she was still alive. And she needed to know that so she could fix that problem. But here presented an obstacle. Someone had put their hands on her - Asami no doubt. She maneuvered her arms in a way that they couldn't be fought with, but still ended up in a position she hadn't expected. Asami had her wrists tightly clamped, or as tightly as the girl could anyway. She could feel her pressing down against her back, too. Now, surely, she needed this more than ever. She squeezed the object in her hand once more, showing no wincing nor yelping of pain. It was a welcomed feeling.

"I certainly haven't heard that voice in... What was it?" she paused. "Years?"

Intentional spacing and phrasing.

"Konnichiwa, Asami-chan."

Using an inferior honorific.

"Let me see if I can guess this right. It's been years but I think I remember what's coming next. I'm an idiot for running away? I'm a liar and a traitor? I have to make it up to you and carry your things around for a month? Rings bells, yes."

Sass.

"Gomenesai, Asami-chan. I believe the Kendall you're looking for is long dead. I'm just catching up to her. So please let me go, before I start to think too much."

She was without a doubt shocked at Kendall mouthing off in such a way, then again this girl was taller, and darker in mood and attitude than the one she remembered.

She didn't reply at first, merely scowled and reached for the blade, trying to liberate it from her (it's up to you if she can get it away from her, regardless, she wrestled Kendall to the ground, sitting on her and pinning her arms so she can't hurt herself further. Powerplay but necessary)

"If I recall it was you who fancied some other piece of fluff and left me to fend for myself. I cared for you. You're no liar Kendall, but a traior isn't too far off. Further more how dare you talk to me that way, what do you think you're doing? Just because Ryoko died doesn't mean you should. I wanted you, I wanted to make you mine but YOU left ME, how do you think I felt? And for once in my life I thought I'd consider your feelings and let you go. So you know what that's done to me? I hate it!"

Her voice slowly rose until she was yelling, she had gone too far bringing up Ryoko, but as always the lolita had zero tact, "I don't even know what's happened to you, but..."She glared, "this whole time I never forgot, I can still feel it, you idiot. I-I fell in love with you that night at the ball, I missed you all summer, but I thought I lost you, so I wanted to let you be happy..."

Her love confession hung for only a moment, once again, Asami had no tact, she kept talking, "but I see what good that did, look at you, like this..." She briefly felt a guilt well up and spill it in the form of tears onto Kendall's checks below.

It was a display she hadn't completely expected from Asami of all people, but she didn't let her surprise show through. Instead, she found herself not really having the time to refute her statements as she found herself pinned to the ground, blade somewhere else. Then came the harsh words she expected - the Asami she knew. But the words weren't quite as scolding as she had anticipated. They sounded more like pleading - like she was trying to argue a point. She had succeeded in one thing there, and that was driving home the suspicion that Kendall had formed many years ago. Their separation was, indeed, her fault.

"I understand." she stated with listless intent. "I am at fault for our division. I am responsible for breaking your heart."

She smiled a bittersweet smile that only served to further show her complete lack of worldly attachment.

"However, for this I have no reason to apologize. I was abandoned first. But that's okay, I don't like holding you or her accountable for that."

She was intentionally dodging the topic of Ryoko for her entire response until now, but she felt that she was in a position in which she had no choice but to respond. However, she wouldn't just respond, she would bring it full circle and back to the topic at hand, to avoid any pain.

"Ryoko wasn't the only one. My mother, too. What sort of home is waiting for me next year, Asami-chan?" she allowed herself a pause. "What kind of life could a blind, talentless crybaby with no family to return home to or rely on possibly have? I could keep going, sure. I could power through like June always has. But where am I powering on to?"

She felt something wet on her face. She could only assume it was raining, but that wasn't right. The greenhouse was a closed bubble. Was she crying? There was no way Asami was. It must have been her, but she was too numb in emotion to notice.

"I guess this is confession time then, isn't it? I loved you too, Asami-chan. I didn't realize it until it was too late though." she took in a deep breath, clearly due to forgetting to do so before. Surely, she was crying by now. "It wasn't until I met Moeka that I understood that. She opened my eyes - made me more confident in myself. I actually believed I could be somebody. And then it hit me - Like a lightning bolt." an obvious jab but also a fun metaphor.

"I wanted to become somebody for someone. And it wasn't her. I thought it was at first, but she abandoned me, too. And do you know who I thought about after that? I'll give you a hint. It's the last face I ever saw. And it's someone in this conversation." another moment had passed, and she thought she had said her pieces well enough. However, it sounded like she had derailed a bit.

"However, even though I love you, I'm aware that it's impossible. Surely you're on to bigger and better things. And I don't resent you for that, Asami-chan. Our division is only one of a hundred reasons I'm here today, doing this. Don't let it weigh on you too much, okay?"

Everything Kendall was saying was fueling something in the pit of her gut that made her angry, she hardly thought about it when her hand flew through the air to land with a stinging slap at Kendall's cheek. Realizing what she'd done, Asami's tears ran full force, truly audible in her voice. Not only was she instantly filled with regret for hitting her, but so many other emotions she'd had locked in a box inside her heart for a very long time.

"What are you saying? You...you don't know anything!" She sobbed, Kendalls words may have seemed to have been vague and heartless. Shades of grey fading to a black lonliness, but to Asami it was all accusations and more than that it was her fault, and it was frustrating.

"All I ever wanted to do was show you..." She keened, hiccuping, "I don't want you to die. Doesn't that matter? Don't I matter?" She sniffed loudly. She never thought she'd have to deal with this sort of thing in her well-bred life. Things like this didn't happen, or they happened to other people, people she didn't know. She never would have pictured herself in such a position on top of Kendall of all people crying like a lunatic because of anything, much less something this serious.

"I'm sorry," she said, feeling herself crumble down onto the girl beneath her, face in Ken's neck. She caught her scent, like that night long ago. Even like this she smelled so sweet, her hair was still so soft. She did love her, even now, and Ken once had felt the same. Even if she didn't feel so any longer Asami felt the same emotions that had pushed her to strike this girl, push her to kiss her.

For the first time in far too long she captured her lips. Asami's first kiss, given in a desperate situation for desperate and illogical reasons to someone she'd loved and thought she'd lost, and now nearly lost for good. She didn't go any farther than that, just a kiss, one that lingered on her lips softly and yet forcefully. She whimpered weakly after a moment and broke the kiss turning it into something as close to as hug as she could manage in this position.

"Anyone can say 'whats next for me?' and have a bleak answer, or no answer at all. But having that doesn't mean there's no future, or that there can't be."

Here in the moment, Asami forgot the redheaded first year Miator, the maid who she had treated better than Kendall from the start, because of Kendall. It didn't mean she didn't care about her, but right now, She was 13 years old again and in love with only Kendall. In this moment, no one else mattered, would matter or ever had mattered. In her right mind, if everything was fine and dandy, she might have shirked Kendall a bit longer. Not out of spite, but because she didn't know how to approach her. Too much pride to let it all out like this under normal circumstances. Surely Kendall would notice this was completely unlike her and that meant she was extremely important. "I'm sorry..."

There are many ways to handle a situation like this. Asami had chosen desperation. Something that was very out of character for her, and that was indeed something Kendall noticed. The entire time the interaction was happening, she lingered on the mixture of physical sensations she had experienced. She was slapped. Pain. Pain meant she was still alive - still capable of feeling. And then she felt more things. A certain texture against her lips that she had never experienced before in such a way. Surely, she had felt this somewhere before, hadn't she? Or was this a new feeling entirely? Whatever it was, it made her uneasy - like suddenly she was wrong. Horribly so. At the same time, it made her feel alive in a way nothing has. What had that been just now? A soft touch that was also firm and deliberate.

"Did you just kiss me?" she asked directly. "Asami-chan, of all people..."

There were a few ways she could react to this, and they held various consequences. She opted for the one she was feeling more strongly in her heart. Her emotions boiled over, and--

((Below are both ways Kendall could react. The true reaction is the first one, with the second one being because I was musey.))

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Just stressing it again, this is the real reaction.))

Whether she would admit it or not, she was overjoyed. But she couldn't shake her previous depression so easily. Indeed, she was still feeling it - that lingering desire to cease. She didn't want things to go this way. She couldn't let things with Asami rekindle her desire for longevity. So why?

"Asami-chan, you... You're serious then?" she sighed, her bittersweet smile fading as she closed her dead eyes. "You know this can't be, and yet here we are."

Her tears were rolling long before this, but now she openly did so without trying to ignore it. Her nose wrinkled and her face soured.

"I was so close to being free." she sniffled out. "Why did you have to stop me?"

There was still the matter of her positioning though. She wriggled to free a hand, forgetting which one she had dug into, and wiped at her eyes. A red trail followed, and Kendall raised her hand up to try and return the hug.

"If it were anyone else... I probably would have done it." a pause while she thought about that. "No. I definitely would have. I'd have done it right in front of them. Why should I care? I'd never hear from them again." as bitter as the statement was, she followed it with a faint laughter in her crying. "But... Even still..."

A struggling feeling came to her throat as she had to force the next sentence out of herself.

"As much as you matter to me, and as much as you always have... I think you know this is as far as it goes."

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Just stressing it again, this doesn't happen.))

"How dare you." she snapped, freeing her bloodied hand and raising it to return the slap of the woman before her. She heard a wet thud, probably blood.

"You above all else, Asami-chan..."

A struggle to free her other hand began, but she quickly found it useless. There was a lot she had to say right now, so it was fine that she was stuck there.

"After I blinded myself trying to equal you, and you brushed me aside... After a whole year asleep, not once did I doubt you. I thought only of seeing you when I woke up, but that never came. I woke up alone. Close your eyes." she urged. "See all that emptiness? Wake up alone to that every day. Wake up to that, call out, and get no response." Her voice was raising. This was a broken woman with no intentions of allowing herself to be fixed.

"You can't imagine the loneliness I've felt. And just knowing everyone around me took pity on me... It made it that much worse. I could get by if I were bullied. I dealt with you enough to know that." a sudden shaking in her shoulders began. She was... Angry. "And yet, the only one who never pitied me was you. I should have known you'd get there eventually." she nearly growled the words out. "I was a fool to think you were different. You... You dare to kiss me?!"

Her bloodied hand raised to her lips, touching them softly. She could taste her very life draining from that hand. It was reassurance that she had made the correct choice.

"You don't know how badly that hurts, Asami-chan." she had a definite sharpness that she had never had before. "And now I know. I know I'm still just some possession of yours. Some item to wear on your arm like a badge. 'Don't I matter?' you ask? How selfish. Get off me at once, so I can finish this damn job and be done with all of this forever."

The sight of a tall redhead inching around the edge of the building was hardly something anyone would miss, but luckily no one was around at that moment. The Gael beamed a smile as she took off at a jog for the normal meeting spot of the new trio she had become a part of. Dressed all in black, she fit in this the shadows fairly well, if only her hair wasn't so vibrant. She knew she didn't really have to sneak, but it made their meetings exciting to think of the group as a super secret club. Zeph had to hold back a giggle as she shook her head at her silly thoughts. Her back pressed up against a pane of glass on the greenhouse and she swiveled her gaze around.

'Coast is cle-.'

A light blush instantly settled over her cheeks as she caught sight of the two girls in a rather intimate position inside the building she was skirting around. Just as she was turning away to give the two privacy, recognition sparked in her brain and she felt an instant twist in her chest.

"Asami?.." The name was barely whispered and as soon as it left her lips the wind ripped it away, stealing even that from her.

Zephyra's hands slowly curled into fists. She knew she shouldn't be watching this display. It was private. But it was so hard to move when her chest was crumpling in on itself. A lonely tear was the only sign of her pain as she found her ability to move again and took off in a headlong sprint.
At this point she didn't care who saw her or heard her. It didn't matter. She needed to meet June and Raion.

The girl clenched her fists as her long legs stretched to speed her off toward the Spician forest and leave behind this sight. Was Asami toying with her feelings or had she even shown an interest in being more? Had she read to far into things? Following the cadence of her footfalls, Zeph repeated the same word over to herself.

Idiot.

Unaware of the redhead outside, Asami was entirely focused on the pinkette, a tearful sigh of relief left her and she pulled the girl closer, hugging her tightly.

"Even if that's true, I need you alive Ken...You're the reason I..changed. The reason I got better. I still don't know how to deal with people but...I try harder because of you. I...I need you. Now...come on, you're getting my dress dirty," She hiccuped from crying, showing she didn't give a flying fart on a jar about her dress, "we need to take care of your hand. We'll say you cut it on something."

She got up, keeping her hands on Ken's arms to help her up, allowing herself to be used as leverage as well as something to steady the other upon standing. Once she was on her feet, Asami made effort's to fix the pinkette hair and smooth her clothes, like a doting big sister. She then took off one of her long black gloves and wrapped it around Kendall's hand like a bandage.

"Wait here," she sniffed, going to pick up Ken's walking stick, but rather than hand it to her, she gently took Ken's hand, just like she had back then, when they were both far more innocent, "Okay...come on now, let's get you fixed up..." she sniffed again, wiping her face, she smiled at her through her wet cheeks, an expression one could hear in her voice, "dummy."

Her entire world seemed to start and stop when this girl allowed it. She was a little offended that she had allowed herself to get that far. However, much as it displeased her that most of her future revolved around this girl's influence, she was also slightly happy with that. She had, begrudgingly, agreed to prolong her life. But she wasn't exactly out of her stupor. There was still the matter of where to go, what to do, and most important, how to proceed. How could she continue innocently after fully knowing she was willing to end her own life? It wouldn't be easy.

"Asami-chan... it isn't out of the question, but..." she was still on that. Her thoughts were as messy as her face right now from wiping her tears away. "It's been too long... I don't want to rush into anything without thinking. If you're serious... I'd like to just catch up first." She sighed and allowed the aid for her standing, as well as the wrapping of her hand.

"I know what you're thinking, too." she attacked the topic before it could be questioned, not entirely refusing the holding of hands. "And the answer is yes. I had plotted this for weeks. I didn't rush this decision at all. I didn't rush this and I won't rush... Us. Maybe I am being dumb. Maybe I'll regret it later." she giggled to herself, a genuine emotion other than despair coming to her. "But I'm so very tired of letting the world push me around. And if I can't leave it behind, that only means I have to attack it right back. I hope you understand that this means I won't be taking orders anymore."

Though...

She leaned down and kissed Asami on the cheek.

"I forgive you by the way. For everything. I do love you, Asami-chan... And I won't hurt you again."

Teh tsundere wasn't expecting to be kissed, and if things weren't still in that dark and tretcherous mood, Asami might have blushed and acted curtly. Instead she accepted the kiss.

"Your sight could come back one day you know, you'll be doing dishes and suddenly be able to see out the window. Just you wait." She said, rather than respond to the love you or the no more orders.

She didn't know how to feel, she didn't know how to treat people without being rude or bossy, she didn't know how to get things without demanding them. She didn't know how to love someone either. It took her a few minutes to figure out what to say, "I have enough servants." She said finally, holding Ken's uninjured hand with both of hers, Ken's walking stick hanging from a loop around her wrist.

"A friend would be nice. I...don't have...many of those." Could Zeph be a friend? Yeah. Could Ken? Definitely. She'd be a better person, having someone she couldn't boss around. "But...heh," she wiped her face again, "I can't promise anything."

She wasn't cute little Kendall anymore, this was a young woman. No longer the uke to her seme, but an equal. Somehow she wondered if romance would work anymore, but then quickly felt romance wasn't important. This was about her life, not Asami's feelings, not about fluffy romance and cute innocent kisses. It made Asami feel like something had been lost as much as it'd been saved.

Maybe this was what it was to grow up, to really feel something beyond the petty schoolgirl loves that happened so often. She pulled Ken's hand to her cheek and nuzzled it. This felt nice, even if there was no longer an innocent world waiting for her outside, there was Ken, and she'd never leave her side.

Friends. That would be new to her as well. She couldn't help but smile again at all the comments coming her way. There wasn't much left to the old Kendall, but there was a lot of heart to be refueled.

"I know this will sound weird... but I kind of don't want it back." she danced with her own words as if they were a coming of age moment. "My confidence only went up without it. Until, well, you know." a wry jab at the last year or two. "But... I didn't realize how much better off I was without it until today."

She tightened her grip on Asami's hand and sort of leaned into her. not a lot, but enough that she was definitely showing affection in an obvious way. "But, a friend. That's something I do want. And I don't plan on giving it up."

She took in a deep breath. The revitalization of life in a way. She wasn't all the way there, but she was happier now than before. Enough to show some emotion for sure, and definitely plenty of room to grow. Now that she had been knocked upside the head so to speak, and regained her senses, she was aware. Her own actions, they had hurt people. She had hurt Asami. She had hurt Moe. She had probably even hurt people she didn't know. And that was that. She couldn't take it back. but, part of growing up was also taking responsibility. And if she had crushed Asami, she would certainly be doing exactly that.

"You know something? I don't think I've spoken this casually since I arrived. It's always been polite, proper Japanese for me." she joked at her own mannerisms. "But enough about that. I'm done with my own problems for now. Asami-chan... Please, tell me who you've become. I want to know the Asami I've missed out on for the last few years."